Are you scrambling to write your own wedding vows?
Finding the right words to express the love you feel in your heart is no easy task.
Let's kick that writer's block to the curb and create something beautiful...
Why Write Your Own Wedding Vows?
Writing your own wedding vows is the perfect way to express your love on your big day.
What could be more romantic than looking into the eyes of the one you love and speaking what is in your heart?
Personalized wedding vows are a great way to celebrate the uniqueness of your relationship such as all the things you love and laugh about.
Putting your promises down on paper is an emotional experience that you'll never forget.
5 Top Tips to Keep in Mind When Writing Your Own Wedding Vows
1. Speak to Your Officiant
Before you do anything make sure that your ceremony officiant will actually allow personalized wedding vows.
Depending on where you choose to marry there may be certain rules on what you are required to recite.
If you are allowed free reign, your officiant will more than likely still want to review your words.
2. Don't Leave it Until the Last Minute
Whatever you do, don't leave writing your wedding vows until the day before your wedding!
If possible, give yourself at least a month.
Writing your own vows isn't the sort of thing you want to rush.
Setting yourself some loose deadlines can help spur you into action.
3. Bounce Ideas off Friends and Family
If you're feeling nervous about what you've written then try easing the burden by sharing what you've got so far with friends or family.
Getting honest feedback from those that know you and your fiance may be just what you need.
Plus who knows what ideas they might have up their sleeve to give your wedding vows that extra special edge.
4. Revisit Your Relationship
There is no better time to revisit your relationship than when writing your wedding vows.
Dig out all your favorite souvenirs from dates, flip through old photo albums, and return to anywhere that holds a special place in your heart.
Taking a trip down memory lane will help reignite all the reasons you are completely and utterly head over heels for each other.
5. Get Inspired
From poetry books and plays to soppy, romantic movies there is inspiration to be had everywhere you turn.
Grab a notepad and pen and jot down anything you see or hear that conveys your feelings.
How to Write Meaningful Wedding Vows
Writing meaningful wedding vows is easy when you know how.
Establish Ground Rules
Making sure you and your fiance are on the same page from the word go is essential.
Whether that means an acceptable minimum or maximum length for the vows, if you want them to be a complete surprise on your wedding day, or things you want included and things you definitely don't.
You don't want to make your partner feel uncomfortable which is why establishing some basic guidelines for both parties to follow is a sensible idea.
Working together to write your vows can be a lot of fun!
This is also one way to avoid that embarrassing moment when you realize your partner is embarking on an epic story as you stand their clutching a measly 5 lines.
A lot of couples are now choosing to alternate the readings by swapping back and forth rather than each reciting one big long block all at once.
This method can work beautifully, and will also give you both a chance to breathe in between each statement.
Set The Tone
Do you want the audience to be in stitches or not a dry eye in the house?
Romantic and poetic?
Funny, yet touching?
Cute, but silly?
The choice is all yours.
Weaving little jokes into traditional vows is a great way to spice things up and add a unique factor.
Just remember though - however lighthearted your vows sound, make sure that they acknowledge the seriousness of the commitment you are making.
Time It Right
Timing is everything so aim for around 1/2 - 1 minute or so (trust us it's a lot longer than it sounds!)
You don't have to say everything during the vows so save something for the reception toast.
If you decide to go it alone and keep the vows a complete surprise then it's always a good idea to give a copy to the officiant or let a friend or family member take a look so they can check that what you've written is similar in tone and about the same length.
Ask Yourself These Questions
To help get your creative juices flowing ask yourself these key questions:
- How did you and your partner first meet?
- When did you know that you were in love?
- What does marriage mean to you?
- What are your partner's best qualities?
- What are your favorite memories that you've shared together?
- How has your relationship helped you grow as a person?
- What would you like to promise your partner?
- What does your future together look like?
Create An Outline
If you're like most people you will work better by following a common framework.
Start by opening with your partner's name, or if you're after something truly unique you could use a quote or a line from one of your favorite songs.
From here you can begin talking about what your partner means to you and then when you realized you were in love and how this has flourished over time.
Last but by no means least, mention the meaning of the marriage and any hopes or fears you may have before closing with a final expression of love and thanks.
Speak From the Heart
Speaking from the heart is by far the best advice we can give.
You don't have to be Shakespeare to write a beautiful set of wedding vows.
Don't get hung up on being entertaining or whether they are long enough.
Be true to yourself, make them real, and deliver them with authentic emotion.
Vows like that can't be beat!
Examples of Wedding Vows
Need a helping hand along the way?
Take a peek at some of these beautiful, heartfelt examples:
Today, I make you my family.
Loving what I know of you and trusting what I do not know,
I will turn to you in every joy and every struggle.
I will build a life that makes you proud,
and I will honor your dreams, wherever they may lead us.
I will share my adventures with you,
and I will make my home wherever you are.
I promise to cherish and delight in your spirit and individuality,
to face life’s challenges with patience and humor,
and to nurture our growth.
Whatever is placed before us,
I will be right here by your side for the rest of my days.
[Name], for the rest of our very, very long lives:
I promise to love you with all of my heart, honor you with all of my actions, and treasure you like actual treasure.
I promise to keep you warm when you get cold, and to stand in the way of the sun when it gets hot.
No matter how many books you get, or how many times we move, I promise to always carry them all. Every time.
And wherever we go, I promise to be there, holding your hand and telling you, “I love you.”
You’re my best friend, and you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.
Let’s get really, really, really old together.
Thank you for marrying me.
I, [Name] choose you [Name],
To be no other than yourself,
Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know.
I will respect you as an individual, a partner, and an equal.
I promise to laugh with you when times are good, and endure with you
when they are bad.
I will always adore, honor and encourage you.
You are my best friend, and I will love you always.
Practice Makes Perfect
As the countdown to the big day begins, start practicing.
Take some time to look into the mirror and recite the vows aloud.
These words are going to be heard by a live audience after all, so you'll want to make sure they sound good when spoken.
Reading your vows out loud will also help to ensure that they flow easily.
If you find yourself getting out of breath due to super long sentences, or stumbling over difficult words it may be time to do a spot of editing.
Speak slowly and clearly as this will help your voice resonate.
Being familiar with your vows will inspire confidence.
Conquering Your Fears
For some, vow writing is the hardest part of the entire wedding planning process.
Whether you're worrying about making a fool of yourself in front of everyone, or just completely stuck for ideas on what to write, don't let your fears get the better of you.
What you have to say is important.
If you catch yourself thinking, 'what if my vows aren't good enough?'
Just remember that these vows are for you and your partner - nobody else.
If you want to be silly, be silly.
If you want to write a poem, write one.
These vows are yours so make sure you own them!
Do you have any advice to share with fellow bride or grooms to be..? Let us know in the comments below.