If you're about to embark on your second marriage, you might be wondering how to even begin planning your "I do" re-do. You've said vows before, dressed in white, and maybe even had an elaborate cake with four different flavors, you know the drill, but is a second wedding any different?
We're here to tell you that your second time around doesn't have to be any less fun, and it may not have to be all that different...except the lack of mouse in your friend's and family's hair this time! You've certainly matured since your last marriage and have been lucky enough to fall wildly in love again, we think this calls for a grand celebration. Here are our answers to some questions you may have about your second wedding.
Can I still wear the traditional wedding gown?
A common concern of second-time brides is whether or not they can still wear a white wedding dress. The white wedding dress is something that everyone can and does wear for their second-wedding. Why? In today's society, the white dress has come to represent happiness as opposed to purity. Because white now represents joy as opposed to virginity, white is a perfect color for your wedding dress regardless of how many wedding takes you've had!
The one etiquette rule that still seems to be followed by most second-time brides concerns the veil. It may seem like a silly thing to worry about, but the blusher veil that covers the face is a major second-wedding "no-no". Traditionally, these types of veils are used for the very young, first-time brides. Instead, show off your mature and fashion-forwardness by substituting the veil for a glamorous hat, hair ornament, or even an elegant updo.
How do I include the kids in my second-wedding?
This time around, you've got more love than ever because of your kids. While there has been a lot of debate over whether or not to include kids in a second-wedding, we think it's a great opportunity to show your commitment to them through the new marriage.
The typical roles for younger children are ring bearers and flower girls. If you have older children, they can even be the Best Man or Maid of Honor. Aside from the children's literal role in the wedding, they can also be included in the vows. Some couples ask the minister to add special vows for the children in the second marriage. The children are asked if they promise to love and honor their parent's new parter, and the response is usually a loud and happy "I do". In turn, the new parent can be asked the same thing about the children.
Do we still do gift registries?
Definitely make a registry, it'll just look a bit different this time. Let's face it, you are probably at a point in your life where you really don't need your first blender or fine china set. This is a major up-side to your second-wedding because you can ask for more fun and supplemental gifts instead.
Have you always wanted to take a hike with your new combined family? Ask for some great camping gear! Or maybe you want to upgrade some of your everyday basics. Monogrammed towels calling your name! This is the time to ask for all those little extras.
Another great idea is having guests donate to charity instead of giving you a gift. You can offer your guests the choice of donating to your charity though an online registry such as OurWishingWell.com.
Where should I have my second wedding?
Since second weddings are typically more intimate than the first, you want a location that captures that vibe. But of course, we don't want to sacrifice luxury just because it's your take-two. An estate venue would be perfect for a second wedding because it is both intimate and luxurious! We personally love estate venues for second weddings because we think they better capture the personality of the couple and stay away from that sterile feel most hotel venues have.
Another plus to an estate venue for your second wedding is that some offer overnight accommodations. You can easily transform your wedding day into a wedding weekend, perfect for uniting both families and creating some valuable bonding time. Kids can play freely in estate gardens and you can get to know the new in-laws better while sipping mimosas by your own private pool (or ocean view!).
Am I doing the right thing?
This is a question you might have lingering in the back of your mind but are too afraid to ask. Don't worry, your secret is safe with us! Second-guessing the re-do wedding is very common among brides and grooms. Doubts of whether or not a second wedding is even worth it may begin to surface once you start the planning.
We think second weddings are 100% worth it! It's a great way to start your new relationship off on a celebratory note. Plus, did you know that second marriages are more likely to last that first-time marriages? This is because second marriages have experience. While of course your marriage will require a period for adjustments, it will most likely be a success because you and your loved one "know the ropes." Another major plus is that you and your loved one have a better understanding of yourselves, this contributes to a lasting matrimony.
A wedding re-do can certainly be daunting and scary but we are confident you can pull it off! Just remember to stay calm and celebrate the second chance you have at love.
What other questions do you have about your second wedding?